


No Big Deal

by isosceles-twit (bermudablue)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Baby Papyrus, Bad Decisions, Bad Sex, Big Brother Sans, M/M, Nothing explicit, Prostitution, Really Bad Decisions, oh hey look there's actually some gaster in this now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-15 00:51:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8035888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bermudablue/pseuds/isosceles-twit
Summary: A monster comes up to Sans in a bar and offers him money for a bit of fun. With the extra cash in his back pocket, life seems lot easier for the skeleton brother and of course, it wasn’t.. that bad. Just until his paycheck comes through. That’s all, then he’ll stop. Right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> shout out to spoopy-gaster for the sugar daddy au stuff that's really inspired me  
> damn wish my stuff was that nice ಥ_ಥ  
> also gaster doesn't become a big thing in this until chapter 2 ohnowhoops
> 
> as a note, nothin' wrong with prostitution as long as everybody is giving full consent but i dunno, its not so nice in how i've written it

 

Sans made friends easily. Always had and probably always would do.

He had a disarming sort of charm, a shortness to his stature and a demure edge to his expression that would sooth the most socially anxious of monsters. He was talented in the realm of being overlooked and unthreatening, a stark contrast to his younger brother.

Almost his exact opposite, Papyrus was tall, though thankfully not taller than Sans yet, all gangly limbs and birdlike squawking. He’d talk for hours at anyone, and sometimes even over them. He socialised with none of the ease which his older brother had, often giving people the wrong impression from the loud tone of his voice alone. Everything had to be done a certain way, usually in one of the most difficult ways. But despite his awkwardness, the younger of the two had a talent for taking care of himself that filled Sans with pride.

 The two brothers had only each other for a while now and of course, even the closest of family need a break from each other sometime. The letters coming every other day set Papyrus on edge, pushing him to ask constantly in his typically neurotic fashion until his older brother snapped at him in response. After a heavy, worried silence over breakfast, Papyrus refusing to speak to him and sniffling into his chocolate-marmalade sandwich, Sans found himself a little more stressed than usual.

So when a couple of his college acquaintances asked if he’d join them for a drink after a late night in the labs, he agreed for once. He’d paused to send off a quick text to his younger brother, letting him know of his whereabouts and quickly shutting off his phone before he could receive a reply. Then he set off with his fellow students, fully aware that this was a bad idea with the stack of red letters clogging up the kitchen table but feeling particularly self indulgent, feeling like he deserved at least this.

Which left him where he was now, leaning against the bar as he patiently waited for the bartender to notice him. A gaggle of people next to him were chattering loudly, one of them stumbling back and bumping against him.

They apologised sincerely, quickly diving back into their conversation but that wasn’t what alarmed Sans the most.

There was a monster standing to his right, near enough twice the width of Sans and he’d just shoved into him on accident. Sans immediately slumped his shoulders to look non-threatening and sent the monster an apologetic grin.

“Sorry buddy,” Sans shrugged, slightly giddy after a few rounds of drinks and the monster gave him an honest smile, eyes intent.

“Don’t worry about it,” They looked him up and down, “How old are you anyway? You look a little young to be at the bar, son.”

Sans couldn’t help but twitch his grin as his amusement grew with the other’s forgiving demeanor, “I’m a college student, pal. You can check my I.D. if you want.” He teased, fully aware that with his height and the rareness of skeleton monsters, it wasn’t like people could tell he was an adult from the start.

The monster flushed, and now that Sans was looking at him, sort of resembled a lemur with a round, soft face and black smudges around his eyes. He was probably about twice his age but dressed very nicely. The student was tempted to look down to check for a tail but figured that would be rude in at least some circles.

They laughed nervously, “Sorry about that. Forgot that there was a bouncer on the door for a second there.” There was a lull in the conversation and Sans quickly turned away, already done with the conversation and dying for a heavy drink.

“H-hey, how about I buy you a drink, hm?” The lemur behind them asked pleasantly. Sans was well acquainted with the concept of ‘stranger danger’ but when his pockets came up with a measly amount of gold…

He gave the stranger a coy look and took him up on the offer.

A few drinks later (Sans watched carefully as it was made and didn’t take it directly from his new friend either, used to the game by now), the skeleton was feeling comfortably buzzed, his vision hazy and his inhibitions comfortably non-absent.

They’d been chatting back and forth for a good hour now at the far end of the bar, learning each other’s names and sharing a few amusing anecdotes. Sans was amused to find that his new friend had a tail nearly as long as his body, black and white ringed.

So when the monster leaned over and invited him back to their place, he couldn’t say that he was surprised. He was quite flattered though and made sure to let it show through when he leaned back with a sad little smile.

“Sorry, buddy,” Sans slurred slightly as he turned him down gently, “I’d be up for it but I’ve got a kid at home that I need to get back to.” Sans hoped that they’d respond well enough - the other monster had a admitted that they had a son of their own so they had taking care of a young child in common with each other.

The lemur’s grin became a little strained, “If you want, I can give you something a little extra?”

Sans’ smile twitched and he suddenly became aware that he’d lost track of his friends a while back. He tilted his head to the side, trying to subtly look out of his peripherals to catch a glimpse of the other students.

“Little extra how?” He replied goodnaturedly, slightly on edge but not enough to be overly wary. He figured that the poor guy was just trying to peddle some drugs in exchange for a quick romp. It wasn’t really _illegal_ , though. Just considered a little sad if you were incapable of getting a real partner and very desperate if you’d lower yourself to paying for it.

“You said you’ve been struggling with your bills right?” They smiled in sympathy, “I can help you out with that if you’d like.”

Fuck, he really shouldn’t have told him all that. And he was starting to regret all of those drinks that, although lacking in foreign drugs, were still enough to make him dizzy. Maybe he couldn’t hold his liquor as well as he first thought.

“I'm not a- ” He swallowed thickly, “I'm not one of those- ”

“250G. For the night.” The lemur said and Sans felt queasy because _damn,_ that was really putting it on the table, wasn’t it? “And if the idea really makes you that sick then just don't take the money. Or give it to the homeless or whatever.”

He thought of the broken washing machine at home. He thought of the stack of red letters on the kitchen table. He thought of his brother’s birthday, a month away now and he _still_ didn’t have the money for the things he wanted.

He would’ve slept with the guy anyway, right?

“Sure.” Sans replied, downing his drink without the other monster’s prompting and following their lead.

 

\---

 

It wasn’t the first time he’d been around someone’s house before.

And it certainly wasn’t the first time he’d been to someone’s house for sex, either.

Walking away from the house the next morning, with a loaded 250G weighing down his pockets he decided that it honestly hadn’t been all that bad.

Sure, it had been a little awkward when he’d first come in the door and tripped over some kid’s toys but the other monster had laughed even more, falling on him with hot kisses and heavy hands before he managed to regain his balance.

And yeah, it had been a little rougher than he was used to, but in a good way, and when the older monster had groaned into his ear the name “Remmy”, that had set him back a bit but if he complained- would that have meant-

But it was fine.

It was fine.

Monsters had one night stands all the time, right?

The guy had been unbelievably sweet. He’d cleaned him up afterwards and hadn’t kicked him out of bed instantly afterwards like had happened before with that one squid monster from the Crag. He’d even made him pancakes the next morning, and Sans had been a little shocked when he’d discreetly set the money next to the plate along with a jug of syrup. He’d almost forgotten that it was for the money.

He gathered up his coat and determinedly ignored the family photos hanging on the wall on his way out of the house.

He could almost pretend it wasn’t

wasn’t

. . .

It’s not like it was a big deal, right?

 

\---

 

He stood in the middle of a decently priced toy shop. There was the cheap version of the electric racetrack that Papyrus wanted but there was also a better brand version with two extra cars and an extra metre of track.

A monster woman pushed past him with her three identical furred kids, mumbling out an apology as she went. As if it was her fault that he was standing in the middle of a toy store and staring blankly at the racetracks on display.

Papy would really appreciate the extra two cars. He’d be able to have races with his friends (and he was sure that he’d make some friends sometime, he was just a little _too_ friendly) and he’d probably really like the red one with the flames on it and neat little painted headlights.

He idly wondered how much he would get for a second time.

He swallowed down his nausea.

 

\---

 

Papyrus got the cheap race track for his birthday but he still loved it all the same. Sans had refused to talk about what happened on the night he hadn’t come home, deflecting it with a cheeky wink and a “Not until you’re older, Paps” as if it had been such a good night that it couldn’t be spoken of.

After he’d pestered him enough, his older brother had heaved a great sigh and looked at him despairingly.

“It was terrible, bro,” He’d said with emphasis, “We did nothing but play chess all night and read the newspaper. Like boring adults. I didn’t make it back because I was too drunk to walk it back from Beesy’s house so I stayed the night.”

Papyrus grumbled in annoyance but left it alone after that. He’d only wanted to know because his brother had been acting weird _._

To be fair to his older brother, chess made Papyrus want to cry sometimes too.

 

\---

 

Sans had been writing up a lab report from earlier in the day when a bout of disillusionment hit. He leaned forward and let his head hit the desk with a solid _thunk_.

It wasn’t exactly a new thing to him.

Ever since -

Since -

. . .

Papyrus made it all a lot better though. Even if he’d been the one to cause it.

He threw his pen aside and abandoned the report, wandering off into the kitchen in search of something to take the edge off.

Not for the first time, he thought about that 250G.

 

\---

 

Sans had been toeing the line at his workplace for a long time now - Papyrus was a morning person, sure, but he had a routine before he got ready before school and if Sans, in his usual morning daze, got it wrong, _well_ -

Once, he’d accidentally put marmalade on both slices of his little brother’s morning toast instead of marmalade on one and chocolate spread on the other and the kid had thrown such a distressed tantrum that the neighbours of their tiny apartment had been banging on the walls.

It took him a while but he finally managed to peel away from Papyrus, who was especially frustrated because Sans had forgotten to fetch his favourite blue t-shirt out of the wash last night and Papyrus _always_ had to wear his _blue_ shirt on a Tuesday since Tuesday was a _blue_ day. _Obviously_.

So he was a little late. Not a big deal, right?

Unfortunately, his manager did not seem to share his opinion, giving him a disappointed frown and a worried squint with their five eyes.

He’d been late too many times, the monster had explained to him with an upset tone, he’d used up his second and third chances a long time ago.

That they were really sorry but it wasn’t working out.

Sans laughed and joked that it reminded him of his last girlfriend. His boss, (old boss now, it seemed) didn’t seem very amused by it all.

Even while sitting through the humiliation of being fired, attempting halfheartedly to beg for his job back (he’d lost his appetite for grovelling a long time ago) and unsurprisingly, getting rejected once again, his mind was working frantically to come up with a plan to save this.

He sighed. He laughed self-deprecatingly when his old manager told him he had potential and that they were sorry it had to end like this.

“It’s fine.” Sans said, “It’s no big deal.”

 

\---

 

Holding a stack of red notices, the now jobless skeleton had the sinking thought that it _kinda was a big deal._

He let out a breath shakily through his nose and levelled his expression. Papyrus was never very good at picking up on expressions and the emotions of other people but with the luck that the older skeleton was having this week, he didn’t want to take any chances.

“You got that homework done yet, buddy?” He said instead, sliding the incriminating mail into the top drawer of the side table by the door, the one covered in scuff marks and dents because the both of them were forever bumping into the damn thing on their morning rush.

“Yeah!” Papyrus shouted back, grinning up at his older brother without a care in the world. He’d pushed the homework aside and was now furiously colouring a picture in that might’ve been some kind of bird. Or maybe a rabbit. Sans took a quick look over the homework, skimming some of the answers and fighting a laugh when he’d seen the kid’s answer to “Name five animals that live in Antarctica.” He’d written “THREE PENGUINS. TWO SEALS.”

He had no idea what exactly lived in ‘Antarctica’ but it seemed right enough so he put it aside.

Sans leaned closer, eyes on the drawing, “That a friend of yours, kiddo?” Maybe this time-

“Yes, he is!” The kid bellowed in his high-pitched voice, straightening his shoulders and puffing out his chest a bit. Sans let out a sigh of relief.

“Although I suspect that he may not be real,” Papyrus continued hurriedly, “But that does not matter because my belief in our friendship is more than real enough for me.”

Ah. Another imaginary friend then.

He couldn’t be too disappointed though - he was sure that Pap would make real friends on his own time.

His little brother went on to explain how amazing his friend was in his usual eloquent ways, waxing on about their “friendly eyebrows” that Sans thought looked more angry than amicable.

His name was Horace and Papyrus insisted that everyday they leave out half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for him incase he got hungry.

Sans nodded and smiled encouragingly through the explanation, amused that his little brother could come up with so many details in such a creative way. Maybe he could be a writer some day.

“An- an- ” Papyrus stumbled. He laughed.

“Calm down, Paps,” He said with amusement, “Take a deep breath and let your mouth catch up with your head.”

“AND!” His brother shouted, “SUNFLOWER SEEDS! Because Ms Harvey at school always says that birds like seeds but I do not know any other seeds but sunflower ones an’- an’ - I think poppy seeds are p- poison and I do not want to kill my new friend!”

Sans nodded. He didn't know all that much about flowers either. There was a lot of stuff he didn't know outside of quantum mechanics and filing lab reports and it was starting to show.

“Can we buy sunflower seeds next time we go shopping?” He asked hesitantly, spinning a pencil fretfully between his fingers, “For Horace?”

He swallowed down thoughts of red letters and due payments and grinned, “Sure, kiddo.”

 

\---

 

“I just need more time.”

“A’ve already given ya extra time, bab. I was sympathetic tha first few times ‘cause ya’ve got a wee bairn to look afta but it’s been a month now- ”

“ _I know_ ,” Sans interrupted sharply, sending an anxious glance at the back of his dingy apartment but thankfully, his little brother must’ve still been in the bedroom and out of hearing range where he'd left him. His landlady ruffled her feathers in agitation, fixing her one good eye on the thin slither of him peeking from the door.

Her heavy, three-toed boot was lodged between the door and the frame, or else he would’ve slammed the door on her ages ago.

“I’m sorry. Honestly,” He mumbled roughly, feeling a headache pounding behind his sockets and he must’ve looked terrible because her expression softened in sympathy, “I’ve just- It’s just been a rough couple of weeks. I’ll get you the rent, I swear.”

“Is ya sure, bab? ‘Cause tha’s a shelter down tha- ”

“No.” He gritted out - he's been homeless before, he's done it all before and the thought of going back made him sick, “Thank you. I just need another week.”

She gave him a suspicious look, feathers fluffed up and yellow eye searching.

“Fine.” She squawked reluctantly, “I’ll give ya another week.”

She barely managed to pull her boot out of the way before the door slammed closed, Sans muttering an apology when he heard her indignant noise.

“Who was that, brother?”

Sans startled, hiding his shaking hands by stuffing them in the pockets of his hoodie. He turned around to see Papyrus leaning around the door to the bedroom and sending him a worried look.

God, he was so young. Too young to be dealing with this- the top of his skull barely reached the door knob for godsake.

He swallowed a sigh and grinned at his brother anyway- and if it was a little sorrowful then it's not like Paps would notice anyway. He crouched down and the younger monster stumbled closer.

“Sorry kiddo but we might have to move again soon.”

“WHAT?” Papyrus shrieked, “But I've only just gotten all my things in order an- and I nearly made a friend the other day! What is it- did- ” His voice dipped into an anxious whisper, “Did I do something wrong- ”

“No.” Sans interrupted straight away, “You didn't do anythin’ wrong bro, chill.”

“It was that lady at the door, wasn't it?” His little brother’s eyesockets narrowed at the thought and Sans felt a twinge in his soul at how adorable his brother was, “Was she some sort of despicable ca- charackater!?”

He snorted at the determined expression on his brother’s face and Papyrus must have taken it as some sort of sound of fear.

“Do not worry, brother!” He puffed out his chest with his hands on his hips, “We can set a trap for the scary lady! Maybe some sort of net! Or tickling machine!”

“Well a tickling machine sounds like a laugh but we can't tickle her because- ” Sans wracked his mind for an excuse, “Because she’s a vampire. And vampires are immune to tickles.”

Papyrus looked amazed at this new knowledge, nodding along as if it all made sense, “Of course! That must be why you're so scared!” His squeaky voice lowered into a whisper again and he ducked closer to his older brother conspiratorially, “They wanted you to join their secret vampire cult, didn’t they?”

“Yep. Which is why we might have to move in a few days. Or else they'll come find us again and while I ain't got anything against vampire types, their cult makes you pay a subscription fee.” Sans rambled, his nerves finally showing as he unwound from the tense conversation, “And I ain't payin’ 20G a week just to go to some _sucky_ meeting. They'll drain me _bone dry_.”

“Oh.” Papyrus said blankly, “Well, I'm sure the meetings aren't all that bad. Do they play board games?”

“Kiddo, it was a joke.” Sans laughed lightly.

His little brother still looked bemused.

“ _Sucky_? Vampires?”

Papyrus said, “I hate it when you do that.” He held his knuckles to his face to stifle his giggles.

“Oh shush, you're smiling,” Sans teased, scooping his little brother into his arms and only letting his eyes drop when it was out of his brother’s sight.

 

\---

 

They hadn't exchanged phone numbers the last time.

Sans didn't want to admit that he was relieved at the sight of Ringo leaning against the bar.

Less relieved at the sight of him surrounded by a rowdy group of monsters.

Trying to gather up some courage, he thought of his little brother. The saddened look in his face when he delicately rearranged all his figures to face the bed as a part of his usual nightly routine. His quivering lower jaw as Sans read out his bedtime story.

Sans tapped the lemur on the elbow, ignoring the leer one of his sharp-toothed friends sent him.

His face held no trace of judgement or accusation but Sans found himself flushing all the same, uncomfortably aware of the reason he was here.

“Hey kid,” The lemur monster greeted him pleasantly, eyes creasing at the corners in a sly expression.

 

\---

 

He nearly left the table twice, persuading himself into the idea and out of it over and over again.

The other monster could tell it wasn't working and offered to buy him a drink first.

Well, if he couldn't muster up his own courage, liquid courage would have to do.

 

\---

 

“St- stop,” Sans panted, spread out on his back with his head tilted away. The bed was soft and cool behind him where its owner was hot and hard in front of him. 

The lemur drew back immediately, his heavy breath warm on his cheek.

“What's wrong?” He asked through pants, so concerned that Sans felt silly for doubting him at all.

“Uh, nothin’,” He mumbled, “I just needed a minute.”

The other monster looked down at him with obvious sympathy- or maybe that was pity.

“Look, son,” He started to say and Sans had to swallow a bout of nervous laughed when he called him- called him- “If you need a minute then it’s fine. We can call this whole thing off if you really want to.”

“No, no, I can,” Sans levelled his expression and tried to gather up the lust and fire he'd had on the first night. He was still quite an attractive monster, he reasoned. It was stupid to have their weird stigma about it when he'd already done it the once. “I can do it.”

He nodded and leaned back, resting his hands on the skeleton’s spread knees and rubbing them comfortingly.

“Have you- ,”The younger monster stumbled, “You got anythin’ to drink?”

 

\---

 

Pancakes.

Money by the syrup jug.

Sans hoped he wasn't going to start associating pancakes with prostitution now.

He didn't think he could take the loss of one of his favourite breakfast foods.

 

\---

 

The door clicked shut behind him, a little anticlimactic after the events of the past few days.

He'd made enough money to pay off the landlady though, and even had enough leftover to pay a month in advance.

She'd given him a curious frown when he'd laid the money on the table. Tilted her head to the side to squint at him with her one good eye.

It didn't matter where he'd gotten it and he wouldn't have told her even if she had asked. There was nothing wrong with two monsters bumping uglies on a regular basis, even if there was money involved.

“SAAAAANS,” His little brother screeched, barrelling out of the bedroom and latching onto his waist.

“Hey bro,” Sans scooped up his younger bro, hefting him up to sit on his hip, “You didn't burn the flat down while I was gone, did ya?”

Papyrus sniffed in feigned offence, “Does it look like I've burnt the flat down?”

“I dunno, my eyesight isn't all that good these days. Boy, is it hot in here or is it just all this fire?”

“Saaaaaans.”

“Okay, okay, I'm done.” Sans peered at him with a critical eye, exaggerating the motion to get a giggle from his brother, “Speakin’ of done, you finish that maths homework from yesterday yet?

“Uhh.”

“Come on kiddo, you know that you can do it in a jiffy if you try.”

“How long is a jiffy?” Papyrus squinted up at him.

“Uhh,” Sans shrugged, “‘Bout five minutes maybe?”

“Well that is impeh- impel- ausible. Impelausible.” His little brother declared, unwrapping his arms from Sans in a clear motion for him to set him down.

Putting him back on the ground, Sans wheezed slightly, “Geez kid, you're getting heavier by the day. If I didn't write the shopping list then I'd think you'd been eatin’ rocks.”

“I'm not that heavy!”

“Yeah you are.” Sans grinned at him slyly, “You're _growing up._ ”

“Nooooo. I don't wanna grow up.”

“Aw c’mon Paps, don't pout.”

“Sans! Quit being silly! I can't pout when I don't have lips!” His little brother whinged.

 

\---

 

Sans told him later on, the two of them side-by-side and working on their respective homework. Although the maths involved on Sans’ papers was a bit more advanced than his younger brother’s homework.

“We're not gonna have to move back into temporary accommodation again.” He said, diligently working through his calculations while peering at the other out the corner of his eyesockets.

The only indication that Papyrus had heard at all was the slight pause in his scribbling, but it was only for a moment and Sans could've imagined it.

“We- ,” Papyrus stuttered and yeah, Sans hadn't imagined that pause, “We're not?”

“Nope.”

“But you lost your job.”

“Yeah but I'm asking a few of my friends if there's any openings where they work. One of them helped me out and gave me a little money.” He shrugged, typing in a sum on his clunky calculator with quick fingers. “We should be good for a month or two though.”

There was another pause and Pap’s pencil dropped to the table.

“You okay?”

“Yes.” His little brother was tapping his palms on the table and Sans took the motions as the usual sign.

“How are you feeling?”

“I don't- ..,” Papyrus stopped and his brother waited patiently while he untangled his thoughts to give a proper answer. “I think I'm glad?”

“Yeah?” He encouraged. He couldn’t remember much from the parenting books he’d read years ago but he was sure that talking about feelings was helpful somehow.

“Yes.” His little brother said thoughtfully, hands not slowing down even as his mind unwound, “I don't want to go back to the homeless shelter.”

“Me neither, bro.”

“It smelled a little bit.” Papyrus continued and Sans nodded slowly. “And the room wasn't big enough for us both. I'm happy where I am.”

“You happy?”

“Yes. I think so.” His brow bone creased and he looked so adorable that Sans felt a wave of brotherly love wash over him.

Sans leaned over and pecked him on the forehead, “My happy Pappy.”

“Sans,” He giggled. “That's gross.”


	2. Chapter 2

_‘sozz dude they rnt hirin right nw. wnt me 2 ask at my moms place?’_

Sans huffed angrily, shutting his phone off and stuffing it in his pocket with more force than necessary. He felt magic pricking at the corners of his eyes and turned his head towards the window to hide them. The whole room was teeming with the general chattering of at least fifty or so monsters, all of them waiting for when their farce of a professor would actually turn up.

Something about this whole situation seemed ridiculously unfair. After all the times he’d covered for his friends- all those times where they’d snuck off for smoke breaks or a romp in the bloody supply closet and even that one time Jeff and Congo had gotten a little rowdy in class and ended up knocking over an expensive piece of equipment and he’d lied on their behalf and they _still_ couldn’t return the favour.

All he needed was to find one job. Just one teeny tiny job to keep him going for a little while longer.

But no. All of his numerous friends couldn’t find anything- in the Capitol at least, Tina had cheerfully explained that her uncle was looking for a gardener all the way up in Waterfall- and he was stuck facing the end of the month with nothing to show for it.

He wasn’t even thinking of this in terms of himself either. Papyrus had run home at full-speed yesterday and had started screaming about his day at school, not even realising that Sans had been up to his eyelights in advanced physics and been nursing an obnoxious headache.

Apparently, he’d been punched in the face by one of the older girls while protecting another kid. After spitting out one of his teeth, he’d complimented her on her excellent arm strength and she’d been so charmed by him that they’d played ‘punchies’ until his arm had fallen off.

Still, it was the closest thing he’d had to a friend in months and Sans despaired at the thought of his little brother losing out because Sans didn’t know how to be responsible.

He pressed the palms of his hands against his eye sockets and tried to will his anxiety away. Come on, dude, you’re in the middle of a class! This isn’t the time for the waterworks.

The sound of the door opening and closing wasn’t enough to get the his attention, but as the noise of his classmates simmered down in a low hum, he finally had the good sense to lift his head.

Their usual professor was nowhere to be found.

Instead, there was a skeleton standing in his place, prim and proper with a pristine black suit and deep violet tie. Sans suddenly felt like he was letting down his species a bit, with his own scruffy sneakers and unwashed hoodie. The newcomer was delicately shrugging off his heavy black overcoat when he began to speak.

“Hello, students,” He started out without a hint of warmth, cold eyelights scanning the room, “I am Doctor Gaster and I will be your tutor for today. I apologise for my tardiness but while I was waiting in the reception, it seems that your professor has decided to not even bother coming in and assumed I could find my own way.”

There was a twist of his mouth at the end of his sentence, barely there but it communicated his displeasure at the situation.

Sans smirked slightly at the thought of the monster waiting around for a bunch of grungy university students, pacing back and forth and checking a pocket watch like some sort of storybook villain.

Even though no one in the room had seen him before, they instantly knew who the skeleton was.

Doctor Gaster, the Royal Scientist. Seen rarely outside of the Royal Laboratory or his large mansion in northern New Home and currently being made to tutor at the capital’s university in the hopes of ‘encouraging’ their youthful minds into service under the crown.

Sans had nearly laughed when he’d first heard of it. As if half of them wouldn’t be pushed to take jobs in Core maintenance anyway from the lack of available jobs.

The only silver lining to this exercise was that the Royal Scientist would sometimes decide to pluck a few monsters from the crowd and offer them an internship directly underneath him. But it was rare and with the lack of hope weighing down on him, Sans really didn’t feel up to the effort of schmoozing up to the monster.

Gaster folded his overcoat over the back of the professor’s chair and began quizzing students around the room.

Honestly, Sans knew he should be staying aware incase he was called on to answer a question but the solid wood of his desk was just looking so _tempting_. Now that he’d gotten over the sudden appearance of the Royal Scientist, his mind went back to his financial troubles. He stretched to think of any solutions to the problem that wouldn’t involve spreading his legs again but he was struggling with it and kept spiralling back around again.

He was so deep in his own stressful thoughts that it took a sharp prod from the guy behind him for Sans to realise that half the class was looking at him expectantly.

Including Doctor Gaster himself.

Sans cursed his luck and tried to think of something eloquent to say, just anything at all -

“Uhhh.” He managed. Then he shrugged apologetically, a sheepish grin on his face.

Good job, Sans. Very smooth.

The doctor frowned, “Have you been listening to a word I’ve said?”

Sans decided not to answer that one out loud incase his voice cracked so he settled for a slow, embarrassed shake of his head.

“Disappointing.” The more dignified monster said haughtily and turned to another student, but Sans couldn’t find it in himself to care.

He flipped the page on his notebook and started jotting down some numbers for his bills and rent in the hopes that it would help.

And if he paid a little more attention to the lecture than he did before then it was no one's business but his own.

 

\---

 

The lecture hadn’t been very spectacular, mostly the Royal Scientist telling them about what working in the Royal Labs would require of them and some of his own personal standards.

Sans was sure it would’ve been pretty useful to note it down if he wanted to get an internship with the monster, but he was also sure that his chances had been severely diminished when he’d messed up that question.

It still hadn’t been enough to distract him from his current predicament and as soon as he’d rushed out of the classroom under Doctor Gaster’s watchful gaze, he’d texted Ringo and asked if he was up for it.

After waiting anxiously for a reply, tapping his fingers against his phone and sighing periodically, the lemur monster had replied to him.

No dice. They didn’t have the money to spare and Sans thought that they were probably sick of him calling on them when it only suited the skeleton.

_But._

He did have a few friends who would be up for it. He’d already told them about their arrangement and while he’d never said anything about keeping it a secret, Sans found himself flushing with anger and shame.

But, desperate times call for desperate measures, as they say.

 

\---

 

The monster meets him a few blocks away from his apartment, after he’d made certain that Papyrus was deeply asleep and the doors were firmly locked shut.

They’re nice enough.

A little rough in the sack.

When he first steps through the door, they hold up a coil and it takes a moment for Sans to realise that it’s rope, thick and unforgiving.

He shakes his head and the monster sighs, disappointed. They offer an extra 50G and Sans hesitates.

They don’t make him pancakes the morning after.

But they do give him more gold than Ringo usually does.

He makes himself pancakes when he gets home the next morning anyway.

They’re hilariously burnt but Papyrus eats them anyway and grins up at him adoringly.

 

\---

 

“You aren’t going to stay here all day, are you?”

Sans groaned into the hard surface he was resting on. It took a moment for his eye lights to flicker on completely, but when they did he was greeted with the dark wood of his desk that had seemed so appealing at the start of the lesson.

It took him another agonising few moments to lift himself into a position the vaguely resembled upright, coming face-to-face with the disdainful gaze of the one and only Doctor Gaster.

He managed another exhausted groan, shamefully aware that the rest of the class had emptied out of the room. That left only him and the Royal Scientist.

After a few beats, his head fell back against the desk.

Alas, it had been a valiant effort but Sans was pretty much ready to die right in this room.

“Excuse me.” The older skeleton said, affronted. Sans thought with amusement that such an important guy probably wasn’t used to being ignored like this.

But still, he felt a little guilty so he made the effort to prop his head up on his one hand, lazily meeting Doctor Gaster’s eyelights.

“‘Sup.” He tried for casual but his voice apparently had other ideas because it came out more tired than he’d aimed for.

The Royal Scientist’s expression twitched slightly, with what Sans could only assume was pure outrage but when he spoke, it was surprisingly gentle.

“Student, if you cannot handle the workload then maybe… maybe this course is not for you.” His eyelights were soft and pitying and the smaller skeleton felt a stab of annoyance through him.

He held onto that feeling, using it to push himself from his seat. The doctor stepped back slightly, surprised by his sudden energy and that made Sans even angrier.

Who the _hell_ did this guy think he was?

“Hold on a second - ” He started but Sans slammed his bag on the desk loud enough to interrupt him and started to aggressively pack his unused things away.

Sans had made the _effort_. He’d dragged himself into class even though he was exhausted, even though just last night he’d been fucked at least six times by some monster that he barely even knew for a goddamn pittance but no, he’d ignored his aching bones and come in anyway because this was a subject he loved.

And what did he get for his troubles? He got this goddamn _asshole_ judging him and insulting him when this guy had probably never struggled once in his life! Born with a silver spoon shoved so far down his throat that he probably voids _bloody silver ingots_.

“Would you calm down - ” The older skeleton demanded but Sans was too far gone at this point.

The Royal Scientist was probably _paid_ to come in and preach to them like he was some gift to the underground. More gold to line the pockets of his stupid black coat when he already had more gold than Sans would see in his lifetime.

“Nope.” Sans replied petulantly, aware that he was over-reacting and already regretting it but he was just _too tired to stop._

He slammed his chair underneath the desk, nearly tipping it over in the process and stormed past the other skeleton.

He didn’t turn around to look at the monster’s face, but he felt his gaze on his back as he left the room.

 

\---

 

Sans managed to get all the way home before he collapsed just inside the front door, frustrated tears spilling over onto his flushed cheeks.

He didn’t acknowledge them as he practically ran into the only bedroom, crumpling onto the bed and curling around a pillow.

He didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with him.

 

\---

 

He was still waiting for the repercussions of his actions a few days later.

It’s not like he could get away with that, after all. He’d acted like a _child_ , and in front of one of the most important monsters of the underground, baring the Royals themselves.

But while he was stressing over the results, time ticked on and one of the days after school, Papyrus had come home absolutely covered in mud and grinning bright enough to power the whole underground.

Apparently, his new school friend had been teaching him how to wrestle and they’d gotten quite filthy as a result of the constant supplexing. Luckily, Papyrus hadn’t needed any assistance with reattaching his limbs this time.

Sans would’ve been more concerned about him rough-housing with a fish-girl at least three years older than his little brother, but Pap looked so happy about it that he couldn’t.

Unfortunately, their washing machine was completely unsalvageable at this point, despite the older skeleton’s gallant attempts at prodding it with a screwdriver. So they were reduced to alternative methods of washing clothes while Sans was saving up the money for a new one.

So the two brothers pushed all of the kitchen furniture to the side, filled up a massive bucket of soapy water and set about scrubbing the dirt and grime from their clothes.

Sans was sure that there was a launderette around the capital somewhere, but he was a bit hesitant about spending money while he was waiting for the lemur to get back to him about another job.

Papyrus had perched himself on the kitchen counter, the perfect vantage point to watch his older brother from while avoiding getting splashed with any soap suds or water. To be fair to him, Sans had already tried it and there was a large splatter of water up the wall for his efforts.

“An’ then she did this awesome flip,” Papyrus was telling him excitedly, reenacting it with his hands as he waved them about, “An’ she screams - ”

Sans braced himself but it still didn’t prepare him for the volume his younger brother could reach.

“‘EL FISHADOR WINS AGAIN!!’” He screamed in a mimic of his friend. Sans wondered if she was actually anywhere near as loud as that.

“An’ then she _slammed_ me into the ground!” Papyrus said, like being afflicted with bodily harm was the coolest thing ever and smacked his hands into each other.

Sans laughed anyway, scrubbing at a particularly stubborn ketchup stain.

“It’s nice to know you’re being productive at school.” He said, giving up on the shirt and putting it back in the bowl to soak. He was about to grab another item of clothing to dunk in the bowl when he heard the chime of his phone going off.

It was probably one of his friends or a lab partner or something, but it still didn’t stop his soul from seizing up.

“Hey kiddo,” Sans stopped what he was doing and started to dry off his hands, “Can you go fetch my phone? I think it’s on the table in the other room.”

“Can do!” His brother replied cheerfully, scooting off the edge of the counter and racing into the other room.

“Bet you can’t find it in less than a minute!” Sans called after him.

“Can too!” Papyrus shouted back and Sans heard the telltale sound of him knocking over a lamp. “Uh. Whoops.”

“Don’t worry about it, Pap. It’s pretty easy to knock over a lamp. Seeing as they’re so light and all.”

Sans was still snickering to himself by the time his little brother came bounding back into the kitchen with a pout on his face.

“I know you’ve made a joke.” He said sagely, “But I don’t get it. Here’s your phone anyway.”

“Good call.” Sans quipped and Papyrus giggled slightly at that one.

_[1 New Email]_

Oh boy. There it is.

He didn’t recognise the email address of the sender but it had enough likeness to the Royal Scientist’s name that he figured he knew who it was.

He opened it up, his little brother nosily peeking over his shoulder but at the sight of the massive block of text, he huffed and went to do something else instead. Reading had never been one of his favoured hobbies.

The email started off politely enough, although it quickly descended into what Sans had come to expect.

 

_'The conduct you exhibited was unacceptable for a student attending such a prestigious establishment. If I was a lesser monster, I would use my influence to have you expelled. Fortunately, I am not. Instead, I would like to offer my assistance -'_

 

Sans laughed.

Assistance?

Unless the prestigious Royal Scientist was into paying for sex, he didn’t see how the older skeleton could help him.

 

_'Skeletons are a rare enough breed of monster as it is, and it would do us no favours if we ignored a fellow monster in their time of need._

_The shorthand of what I am proposing is that if you require assistance grasping the subject matter, I am offering myself as a tutor as long as it is limited to a few questions after lectures have finished for the day._

_Sincerely yours,_

_W. D. Gaster'_

 

Geez, how arrogant could a guy be, Sans thought with some measure of disbelief.

Underneath the doctor’s name was a long stream of titles and names that meant nothing to him - he only recognized _His Majesty’s Royal Scientist_ within the barrage of words.

He was half certain that there was an insult in there somewhere. He wouldn’t be surprised if this was all an elaborate jab at his intelligence.

Well, points for elegance, he guessed. Then he pressed the delete button.

Setting the phone aside, he got back to work at scrubbing the various stains from his and his brother’s combined clothing.

If that was the worst that the Royal Scientist had to offer, then maybe Sans would live to study quantum mechanics another day.

 

\---

 

The lemur didn’t have anyone else.

They said they’d only pay if they could use the rope.

 

\---

 

“Uhh,” Sans offered, utterly stumped by the sight before him.

Doctor Gaster seemed equally flustered, his face flushed with magic and it only seemed to be his good breeding that was stopping him from wringing his hands in front of him.

“You didn’t reply to my email.” The older skeleton said primly, as if that explained exactly why he was there.

“Yep.” Sans said, looking the monster up and down with a disbelieving eyelight. There was something weird about seeing the scientist, as well-dressed as always in his neat black overcoat and shiny black shoes, standing on the dusty grey carpet outside his apartment.

In fact, he looked even more like a gentleman than usual. Sans didn't consider himself an expert on these things but there was no mistaking the delicate chain that hung from his pocket or the fine silver stitching on the waistcoat peeking through his lapels.

The Royal Scientist looked even more flustered by his simple answer, starting to fidget under the weight of the younger skeleton’s gaze. Sans figured he probably wasn't used to interacting with monsters who weren't also obnoxiously posh.

After a moment, he seemed to steel himself though. He drew his shoulders up and straightened his stance and Sans had to resist the urge to laugh because _what a dork._

“My offer still stands. If you require assistance, any at all, then I am available. Even if not personally.” Doctor Gaster stated, as if he was giving a speech.

Sans… didn't really know what to say to all of that. Now that he wasn't feeling like he was about to collapse, the offer actually seemed quite charming. It had been a while since any monster had outright offered help in such a way. Maybe that email was more sincere than he originally thought.

“Look. Buddy.” He started, hand already creeping up the door in case he needed to slam it quickly, “I really appreciate the offer and everything but I've got it all sorted. So just go back to saving the underground or whatever it is you do in that lab - ”

“What’s wrong with your wrist?” The Royal Scientist asked suddenly.

“What.”

How did he know about -

His eyes were intensely focused on the sliver of bare bone exposed by his reach for the door, the delicate bones of his wrist rubbed raw and grey.

“Hey, dude, that's none of your business - ”

Sans stopped abruptly when Gaster pushed the door inwards and reached for his wrist. He didn't get within an inch of touching him before the younger skeleton’s wrist was quickly hidden behind his back.

But Gaster didn't seem deterred at all, “Has someone hurt you?”

“I said,” Sans cheerfully gritted out, “It's none of your _business_.”

The concern was touching and all but every second they spent talking about it only made him think of where he'd gotten the marks, and that was _certainly_ not a path he wanted to go down while the doctor was present.

“It _is_ my business.” He insisted, and Sans was feeling his concern less charming by the minute, “As you well know, skeletons are quite a rare breed of monster - ”

“Yes, _as I well know._ ” Sans repeated back with a sharper tone. He was starting to raise his voice and he spared a brief thought to be thankful that Papyrus was still at school.

“ - and that means that we cannot afford to ignore each other in our time of need.” Gaster continued haughtily, “At the very least, allow me to get you a healer to fix your wounds.”

And add healing expenses on top of his already high living costs? No thanks.

“Dude. Buddy. Pal,” Sans held up a hand in case the doctor started rambling once more, “I don’t need your expensive healers. I don’t need my hand held through the basics of your lectures like I’m some kind of moron. And yeah, my wrist looks pretty messed up. But it was just a bit of fun that got outta hand and it looks worse than it is so quit asking. Capiche?”

The Royal Scientist seemed surprised for a moment, and Sans almost thought he’d gotten away with it when -

“Are you living with anyone - ”

“Ugh.” Was Sans’ only reply as he slammed the door in the other skeleton’s face.

 _“What?”_ The confused tone was barely audible through the front door and okay, that made him feel a little bad.

“I’ll see you on Monday, sir.” He called back as an afterthought, not entirely able to hide the amusement from his voice.

 

\---

 

“Sans?”

“Yeah, bro?”

“Why don’t we have a mom?”

Sans almost froze in place, fork halfway to his mouth as the question hit him straight in the gut. But that would only make him look dishonest so he forced himself to keep eating. He chewed slowly.

“Why’re you asking that bro?” Sans said nonchalantly, eating with his mouth open in a way that made his brother’s nasal ridge wrinkle. Despite his attempts at being inconspicuous, the atmosphere seemed to get heavier and suffocating in their tiny kitchen.

“‘Cause my friends were talking about their moms an’ stuff.” Papyrus poked at his own food disinterestedly. Poor kid actually looked upset about this, geez. “And I don’t know anything about my mom.”

“Well - ” Sans started, piecing together a suitable lie in his head.

“‘Dyne was telling me about her mom!” His brother rushed out, eyelights bright once more with the new information he’d found out about his friends, “An’ - an’ she was saying how she doesn’t have a dad because - ‘cause her mom _eats_ them.”

“I don’t think - ”

“Yeah, she does!” Papyrus interrupted with excitement, “That’s how their uh, spices works! All the mom fishes eat the dad fishes and then an egg comes out. She _told_ me.” He said that last part loudly, as if expecting Sans to disagree with him.

Sans waited a few moments, taking the time to enjoy a few more bites of his dinner to make sure his little brother was completely finished.

“Bro. I think you meant species. And - ”

“Is it like that with every spices??”

“Species.”

“Does that happen with skeletons too?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Is that why we don’t have a dad ‘cause mom ate him?”

“I don’t remember anything like that happening.”

Papyrus suddenly gasped, clutching at the table like he was going to topple over.

“SANS.” He screamed.

“What is it, bro.”

“DID I EAT MOM?”

That was the last straw for Sans, who burst out into loud howling laughter at the sight of his little brother looking so hilariously dramatic. Papyrus huffed at him, arms crossing in front of himself defensively as his cheeks flushed with luminous magic.

“It’s not funny, Sans!” Papyrus shouted, “I could be a _cannonball_!”

That only made him laugh even harder, doubling up and nearly falling off his chair in his mirth.

“Saaaaaaaaans.” He whined, face scrunching up in annoyance as his older brother didn’t stop chuckling.

Although in Sans’ defense, if he was laughing then he wouldn’t have to think too hard about their absent parents.


End file.
